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Submitted on
December 5, 2011
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If you had thought you were the most invisible, underappreciated, useless person in the world, you were wrong. Unless you were a certain Canadian named Matthew Williams. He was a shy boy, but it was fine because he didn't like talking to people anyway. Actually, people didn't like to talk to him, or so it seemed. No one knew he was there, no one knew he existed. Nobody would care if he was gone, nobody would notice. If he disappeared suddenly, who would be there saying, "Matthew, why did you do it?" That's right, no one. So with the constant string of similarly depressing thoughts, he sighed, walking down the street, toward his home a few blocks away.

Upon arrival, he was relieved to not have to come home to his obnoxious brother. Alfred. They were only half brothers, but Matthew still hated him with every muscle in his being. So when he got home, he was just about as enthralled as he could get, but he was glad to be home alone, because today he would do it. Today he would finally do what he had been waiting for so long to make a decision about. Just as he thought this to himself, his phone buzzed on the nightstand next to his bed. 'Who could be texting me' he thought to himself. He didn't bother picking it up, seeing as he wasn't caring about anything right now. Because, well, Matthew was going to commit suicide. He paced around his room nervously, constantly telling himself he would definitely, definitely do it and not back down like he had before. He thought of ways to do it, to. One was grabbing his throat, gripping it tightly, and essentially strangling himself, so he wouldn't be able to breathe and eventually die. There would be no blood, so this could work. He thought of another way, in which he could've jumped off the roof of some tall building or something. This way, he could just hit the asphalt below and he wouldn't even feel the pain before he died. The last one, which he planned on, was that he was going to stab himself. Right in the chest. He would basically die instantly.

His thoughts were interrupted by another buzzing from his phone, and then another. If Matthew would have checked, he would've seen the texts he was getting were from, possibly, one of the only people who knew he existed. His name was Gilbert, Gilbert Beilschmidt. He, personally, loved Matthew's company. He was the sweetest kid ever if he didn't seem so depressed all the time. But at this point, Matthew was heading out to his kitchen, to the drawer where the sharp knives were. He had completely forgotten the fact that Gilbert was close, yes close to him, because he hadn't been at school today. He loved it when Gilbert was around. He felt like he didn't have to worry. He wasn't even thinking about that now, though. If he would've seen the texts, they would've been Gilbert, apologizing for not being at school, asking why Matthew wasn't answering, and telling him he was going over to see what Matthew was doing.

The Canadian, on the other hand, he had nothing on his mind but what was happening right at that moment.
"I'm sorry…" he mumbled to himself. Something clicked in his mind at that moment. He was apologizing to… Gilbert. His only friend. This person, that Matthew realized at that moment, this person he was in love with. He felt even worse now. He gripped a sharp bladed knife tightly in his pale hand as tears began collecting in the corners of his eyes. But he wasn't backing down again. He had already done that so many times, and he didn't want to again. His body trembled as he started muttering to himself again.
"You would never love me anyway… I'm useless; I don't have any reason to stay around." He stared at the cold blade that was going to puncture his chest in about 10 seconds. His tears stained his once dry cheeks and rolled down his cheeks, quickly falling to the floor. He pulled the knife away, aiming the pointed blade at his chest, right where his heart was. He held it tightly with both hands, about arm's length from him. He closed his eyes tightly, tears still flowing freely down his face, and braced for the impact.

At that moment, the front door swung open and a certain German albino stepped inside of the house. The first thing he saw was the trembling, almost sobbing Canadian, with a knife pointed at his chest.
"Matthew!" he yelled, completely shocked as he ran over to the shorter boy and grabbed his wrists. Matthew opened his eyes widely, staring up at the taller male with tears still running down his face. His thoughts were too jumbled before to notice the frequent loud banging on his front door, which were coming from Gilbert. "What the hell were you planning on doing with this Matthew?!"
"I-I…" Matthew could only mumble under his breath, before he broke down into a sobbing mess. He was crying more now, with uneven breathing and mumbling things that sounded like gibberish. Gilbert had never seen him like this; of course he was too awesome to ever make Matthew cry, so this came as a shock to him. By then, he had grabbed the knife and dropped it behind the two of them. He proceeded to look down at the smaller boy, his violet eyes full with tears, and it was really making him feel uneasy seeing him like this.

A gentler look in his own red eyes now, he grabbed the shorter of them and pulled him close to his own body. Matthew looked completely shocked, and scared, but his crying slowed down the slightest bit. Matthew, by instinct, buried his face into the silverette's chest, tears now staining his shirt.
"Matthew… Calm down," he said soothingly, softly stroking the other's soft blonde hair. "Shh, shh. Why were you gonna do that?"
"I'm useless. No one cares about me," Matthew said shakily, his voice cracking as he tried to speak through choked sobs. "I didn't think anyone would notice I was gone." Gilbert stared down at him, and the other returned his gaze.
"I would notice," he stated. "You aren't useless. You're one of the most amazing people I know, and I'm not just saying that." Matthew wiped his eyes, and his crying slowed to only a few sniffles and a couple of tears dripping down his dampened cheeks.
"Nobody loves me," Matthew said unsteadily.
"Actually, that's also a lie." And with that statement, he leaned down a bit, and pressed his lips to the trembling male's. He cupped one of his cheeks, pulling him closer and wiping remaining tears away from his eyes. Matthew's faced had flushed, but his eyes fluttered shut, and he leaned himself closer to the taller man. Gilbert wrapped his arms around Matthew's lender figure, and watched as he closed his eyes. After what seemed like an eternity, he pulled away, arms still holding the other close to him. Matthew looked up at him, now feeling safer in Gilbert's arms.
"What do you mean, that's also a lie?" Matthew asked, quietly.
"It means, I love you," Gilbert smiled. Not his signature smirk, either. It was a kind, genuine smile. Matthew looked kind of shocked for a moment, but he quickly leaned against the other's chest, smiling.
"I love you too."
I wrote something ansty~ I wrote something angsty~

I was listening to Breathe Me by Sia and then Colorblind by Counting Crows and I was like...
K, gonna go write somefin sad.

And this is what came of it, from the deepest reaches of my mind.

Comment and fave please! Q w Q

~Oh and the pairing is Prussia-Canada.. PruCan, if you didn't know.~
Add a Comment:
Trinitykitteh Featured By Owner May 6, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
awwe so adorable <3 prucan rlly needs more love
little-anime-artist Featured By Owner May 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you. c:
And yeah, it does, but I'm seeing a whole lot more of it than before. ^ J ^
Trinitykitteh Featured By Owner May 6, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
no problem :3
and i knoow ^__^ its so awesome
Crystalxchaos Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2012  Student General Artist
So much angst... e.e this is amazing~ Yay for PruCan! :'D It needs more love~ kesesesese~

:iconyaycanadaplz: :iconyayprussiaplz:
little-anime-artist Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I know! PruCan is adorable! <3
But I'm seeing new supporters every day. : D
Crystalxchaos Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2012  Student General Artist
yea, i'm pretty sure its slowly but surely gaining popularity :D
Minna9999 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2012
WHoa... Awesome.
little-anime-artist Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks. :'D
Add a Comment: